Whats on the Internet can be Found

By: Nebulous Mood: dont know Date: 11/23/2006 14:19:59 Music: None

Yah well that phrase becomes ever more true for me at least. So that girl I wrote a few massive blogs about well I had let her read one of my blogs before but I figured that wouldn’t be able to find them again. Well it ends up she found the one that I wrote after we said we were just friends. We hadn’t really talked much after we just said we were friends. Writing about it now, it seems like it wasn’t that long ago but in reality quite a bit of time went by before we started really talking again other than the occasional hi. Things kinda changed by chance on Halloween. I, being so cool, dressed up as Justin Timberlake. Nice shoes, a hat, and every thing. I was asked by a bunch of girls to dress like that every day but now we are getting off topic. Anyways so they say the best things happen by coincidence. So to get home I and a bunch of people take the public buss cause it’s a lot easier way to get home. So anyways a water pipe had broken under this road so the buss couldn’t get by so it was rerouted to a near by train station. So she and I both head the same way we were going to take the train one stop and the tram from there. Well she, just being her self, was like “lets walk” like 2mins before the train came so I was like sure why not I would only be doing homework when I got home so who cares if it takes longer, besides I would spend time with her so it didn’t matter. So she was saying that she really missed talking to me which at first kinda surprised me because through the word of mouth people had told me the she didn’t feel anything for me anymore which wasn’t surprising either. But I had to agree cause I had missed just talking to her as well. But who knows what was going on in Zürich but when we got to our tram stop we noticed that there were 2 trams just up the street just stopped there with on one in them. So we walked on and saw that someone riding a motor scooter had been hit by a car blocking the trams. So I walked up with her to the last tram stop on this line where her bus stops. Nothing really happened but it was just fun. Its that kind of stuff that I really like doing with her just talking and so on but what ever I don’t think I am one to be labeled as normal. I don’t know if that really changed any thing but heck it’s a good memory none the less. So my grades had been shit for the last quarter so my parents grounded me but there was this party thing that one of my friends was doing down by the lake. I didn’t really want to go because I knew that it was going to be freezing down by the lake but I found out that she was going to go and my friends were really pestering me about not going so I sold my soul to the devil. So I made this deal with my parents that I would only go out every other weekend or twice a month. I know I talked about it but like I had mentioned before I went to this party by the lake basically to see her but didn’t really get to talk to her. But after the rugby tournament we had a long weekend and so on Thursday night I went out with her and a friend of mine who is in a way closer to a brother than a friend to her. So we went to a shisha bar 2 pipes and some absolute on the rocks with live music. It was just really relaxed and a great way to end a week. But we were just talking and laughing smoking some really good shisha. They were writing messages to each other about me but it didn’t really bother me. But at one point this guy came in selling roses and couldn’t pass up this opportunity so I got her a rose. When I first asked her if she wanted one she was really like no, no its ok but I got her one anyways. She was really embarrassed and couldn’t stop smiling, which didn’t bother me cause her smile just makes me melt inside. We stayed for a bit longer but soon started our ways home. The friend caught his train and it kinda turned just into her any my evening. Its kinda nice where I live cause I have a few different ways I can get home at night, she usually takes the train so I decided to take the train with her. When we were standing on the platform waiting for the tram arms around each other she kissed me. Nothing major just a little kiss on the lips. I’m still not quite sure what it was but something hit me at that moment. Maybe it just that I defiantly knew that there was still something there between us but what ever. We didn’t really talk much or I don’t know what we talked about, but we really just sat there with my arms around her and she was resting her head on me. Just before I got off the train I asked her where things should go from here, and it’s the same question I keep asking my self, where should things go with her. My walk home was an interesting conversation in my head cause I was like well shes the only thing you’ve been able to think about lately so there shouldn’t be a question about it. But on the other side I was like shouldn’t you be moving on already, look what has already happened you keep having these ups and downs. Well no side really won but the next day I was a real basket case I could not doing anything other than play xbox to keep from thinking about her but then in-between matches my thoughts would instantly wander back to her and I couldn’t concentrate at all. That friend I talked about came over for dinner and a friend of my bro were over so that at least gave me some time to just forget about life and have some fun. But the next day was far worse, I even did chores to try to think about something else. Your brain can only take asking its self so many questions before it is just too tired. Well she SMSed me later in the day and so I decided to call her. I was being really weird on the phone but one question had been kinda driving me nuts which was did reading my blogs change her mind about me in some way. I know its kinda weird but she was like no I have really felt this way about you since we first were together. This really meant a lot to me when she said that. Well I called back later and finally decided to ask her back out. She had said that she really felt bad about how she had played with me in a way and that she really didn’t want to screw this up again. Well I said that she should just think it over. Well she SMSed me on Monday and said she would prefer to just stay friends since she doesn’t want to screw that up if our relationship doesn’t work out. We were going to really talk about it but one of her best friends had just found out that her boyfriend cheated on her so she really need someone to talk to so I was like sure no problem I don’t mind we can talk later. Well that was 3 days ago and we still haven’t talked, I been really out of it with school work and my own thoughts so I haven’t really found a good time to talk to her. But I was just thinking that if we both want to give it another shot than why not cause well probably just be kicking our selves later if we don’t. I don’t know I hate my mind or my thoughts but either way I just hope I talk to her before she reads this blog.