I'm an Asshole

By: Nebulous Mood: angry Date: 12/10/2006 11:15:56 Music: None

Well just to fill in from the last blog I haven’t talked to her yet, partly because I chickened out and partly because I wanted to do something with her this weekend but neither of us were able to go out on Saturday so nothing became of it. But let me fill in and explain the title. Well this girl was having her 17^th birthday party which was a mini house party just for invited friends and no bringing friends type thing. So lets see 7 people, 130chf of alcohol and an empty house… yah shit is bound to happen. For those interested we had 2 bottles of Razz (I fucking love that shit and is the best is just strait out of the bottle), a bottle of Bialys, a bottle of Tequila (gold of course cause sliver is closer to turpentine than anything else I know and I have had some bad shit), 12 brezzers, and a bottle of champagne (cause no celebration is complete with out it, even though it was the cheapest thing we bought 3.50chf). Anyways there were four girls and three guys there including me. Well this is where things get interesting. So to start off the night everyone had a brezzer and than we broke out the champagne. We knew that the razz couldn’t wait so we broke that out to. Us guys split the entire bottle between us 3, with this one drinking game that gave us some Russian shots (for those that don’t know Russian shots are almost a full glass full of what ever you are drinking so you half take the shot and half chug the thing, brutal). With that we were starting the feel it a bit so we decided to hold off on more especially since it was only like 7:30-8 at this point or maybe not even. Well one girl, one of my best friend’s girl friend, was already drunk off of a brezzer and some champagne. She is small to begin with but we found out that she hadn’t eaten anything yet. So we go make some pizzas and by the time we finish making everything the ice is ready and there for the bialys is. So I sat downstairs with these two girls while the other 4 were up stairs. So yah we ended up drinking almost all the bialys and they heard the whole story about me and that girl and they told me some of their shit but I don’t know what time it was but stuff started to happen between my friend and his girlfriend behind locked doors so ill just leave it with that. Well I don’t know at what time this was but the one girl I had been talking with started to feel sick so I was like well you should probably go make your self throw up so that you don’t do it later on the couch or while your sleeping or something. So I sat with her in this tiny bathroom with her partly laying on me just talking about life and shit with her. Just to fill in about her a bit when ever we go out into town or something she always is the responsible one who doesn’t drink much and makes sure her friends get home ok. But everyone was like hay it’s a house party you should go all out and get drunk for once you don’t need to be mom here. So anyways from what I remember during the night I know a little too much about her life. But yah that other girl I had been talking to as well really didn’t have anything to do so I was like lets all just go watch a movie or something so that everyone was together and shit, well that turned out as me carrying drunk girls back and forth between the bathroom cause they felt sick even though in the end, neither of them threw up. But at one point I don’t know exactly when the one chick that I had been talking with for a really long time said that she kinda had a thing for me, and like any drunk guy would reply I was like yah you know I kinda like you too. I said that even after I had given them that whole thing about that girl I’ve been bloging about for the past few months. that was screwed up.  things got worse later, I’m still not sure how it really started cause I don’t remember everything but that one girl who was kind being left out and I started to make out with her but all of a sudden I was like this is all wrong isn’t it? so I just got up and walked away. Looking back on that night I noticed how much I was playing those 2 girls, and I feel like such an asshole because of it. and on top of that i still have a lot of feelings for that girl I’ve been bloging about all this time.  That night was just screwed up I wish I didn’t remember as much as I did but what you going to do? Shit happens and you just got to keep moving.  I already told the girl I have been bloging about that I started to make with the one chick and she says she doesn’t mind but I think she kinda does.  I don’t really know how I would explain the rest of the shit to her and even if I should but what ever.  I keep thinking about this one think though, she was the one who said she didn’t want to give it another shot and would rather stay friends for the moment so its kinda like how long should I wait on her or should I just completely move on?