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VIEWING 1 - 9 OUT OF 12 BLOGS.
Honesty, Break, Stuff?
DATE: 12/20/2006 18:30:37 / MOOD: dont know
Well you know the whole „I’m an Asshole“ blog that I did? Well that girl im always talking about still really likes to read my blogs and I finely was like sure read them but you probably wont want to read the „I’m an Asshole“ one. She is like why is there other stuff in there? So I tried to explain the other shit that was said at that party but I did a really bad job of it and she really took it the wrong way. I call her up to try to put things right and I can kinda hear her sniffle and its one thing to hear a girl cry but its another when its because of you. That is one of the few things that can make me hate my self instantly. So I tried to re-explain everything and at some point she told me that all week she had been planning to ask about that second try for our relationship. By the end of the phone call things might have been better, probably not, but boy did I feel like shit. My friends had been like it was just some bullshit that was said when you were drunk just forget about it. Whats even worse is that I wasn’t even going to tell her about it but through my blogs and really, really bad expiation through SMSs I couldn’t have done a worse thing. Well this for me at least was about the point where I wanted to take the person who first said honesty is what makes a prefect relationship or how ever that saying goes and just slug him in the face. Ok it’s a bit extreme but what ever. So over the next few days we kinda talk things over and she says that since I was cool with things that she had done why shouldn’t she do the same? And also that when you really like someone they deserve the benefit of the doubt. She said that she was still annoyed about the whole thing so I decided to just give it a few days and let her kinda cool off in a way. It was either Wednesday or Thursday I can’t remember but I went with her in to town after school cause she needed to get a birthday present for someone. It was already getting dark when we were on the tram heading home and I was like want to go to the spot on the panorama weg that I told you about? Just to explain this spot on the panorama weg is right where the city ends and the the hill/mountain that’s above Zurich starts and at night you can see almost the entire city and all its lights. This spot is where I always go if I need to think or just be alone and I had told her about it at some point. So anyways she was like sure why not. It’s a bit of a walk to that spot from the tram stop but its not bad but it was pretty cold out. It was almost perfect, it was clear the stars were just coming out no haze over the city, you could see everything that night. We really just sat there and stared out at the city neither of us saying anything just thinking. I really wanted to say something but I know it really wasn’t the time. So we just sat there thinking our own thoughts. It was getting late so we headed back to the tram stop and when we were going through the tunnel to where her bus stops she turned to me and said I don’t know if I can trust what you say so don’t reply but I like you. With something like that said how can you reply? Pretty much since that we haven’t really talked. I have really wanted to do something with her but as usual we haven’t. The one day my bro and I were in town Christmas shopping and she and her sister were so we decided to meet up for some hot chocolate or something. Just to say my bro and her sister are good friends as well. So we all went to starbucks where we were just having a good time enjoying not having to worry about school and it ended with all of us sitting on this really comfortable couch and she and I giving each other hand massages, weird I know but relaxing none the less. I did end up getting her something for Christmas and was going to give it to her then since I didn’t know when I would see her next but she was like no don’t give it to me now I don’t have your gift with me right now. I’ve been out a few times since break started and I was out last night and she and she had said that she would possibly be out tonight with her friends so I was thinking of heading in as well but she sent me an interesting SMS saying I would say come hang with us but they’re crashing at mine and I want to talk to you later so it may not be ideal. I really have no clue where to take this. It could be good it could be bad. I really don’t know cause in a way there is equal stuff on both sides. And another thing which Scrubs actually made me think about was “love is like butterfly, hold it too softly and it will fly away. But hold it too hard and you will crush it.” I just wonder if I might have done one or the other?
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Just an Update
DATE: 12/10/2006 12:20:27 / MOOD: dont know
Well the last week was not bad but once again we didn’t get to do together on the weekend. At the end of the last blog I was kinda harsh since we still hadn’t really talked about anything with each other yet. But on Friday I started to say something but didn’t get very far. It was kinda like you know we haven’t really talked about us at all. She was like yah I know is there anything you want to say. Well that’s of course the moment that I cant find the words to say what I really want to so I just took the easy way out by saying not really and changing the question over to her and she was like no there isn’t really anything I want to talk about. I still kept trying to figure out what to say and even waited in the rain with her for her bus. But soon the bus came and I still hadn’t said anything. This whole thing is getting stupid why can’t I just say something? Even when I talk to other girls, even girls I barely know, say that I should just say something and see what happens cause they say that I have nothing to lose. What ever I need to just go chill with some shisha or something.
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I'm an Asshole
DATE: 12/10/2006 11:15:56 / MOOD: angry
Well just to fill in from the last blog I haven’t talked to her yet, partly because I chickened out and partly because I wanted to do something with her this weekend but neither of us were able to go out on Saturday so nothing became of it. But let me fill in and explain the title. Well this girl was having her 17th birthday party which was a mini house party just for invited friends and no bringing friends type thing. So lets see 7 people, 130chf of alcohol and an empty house… yah shit is bound to happen. For those interested we had 2 bottles of Razz (I fucking love that shit and is the best is just strait out of the bottle), a bottle of Bialys, a bottle of Tequila (gold of course cause sliver is closer to turpentine than anything else I know and I have had some bad shit), 12 brezzers, and a bottle of champagne (cause no celebration is complete with out it, even though it was the cheapest thing we bought 3.50chf). Anyways there were four girls and three guys there including me. Well this is where things get interesting. So to start off the night everyone had a brezzer and than we broke out the champagne. We knew that the razz couldn’t wait so we broke that out to. Us guys split the entire bottle between us 3, with this one drinking game that gave us some Russian shots (for those that don’t know Russian shots are almost a full glass full of what ever you are drinking so you half take the shot and half chug the thing, brutal). With that we were starting the feel it a bit so we decided to hold off on more especially since it was only like 7:30-8 at this point or maybe not even. Well one girl, one of my best friend’s girl friend, was already drunk off of a brezzer and some champagne. She is small to begin with but we found out that she hadn’t eaten anything yet. So we go make some pizzas and by the time we finish making everything the ice is ready and there for the bialys is. So I sat downstairs with these two girls while the other 4 were up stairs. So yah we ended up drinking almost all the bialys and they heard the whole story about me and that girl and they told me some of their shit but I don’t know what time it was but stuff started to happen between my friend and his girlfriend behind locked doors so ill just leave it with that. Well I don’t know at what time this was but the one girl I had been talking with started to feel sick so I was like well you should probably go make your self throw up so that you don’t do it later on the couch or while your sleeping or something. So I sat with her in this tiny bathroom with her partly laying on me just talking about life and shit with her. Just to fill in about her a bit when ever we go out into town or something she always is the responsible one who doesn’t drink much and makes sure her friends get home ok. But everyone was like hay it’s a house party you should go all out and get drunk for once you don’t need to be mom here. So anyways from what I remember during the night I know a little too much about her life. But yah that other girl I had been talking to as well really didn’t have anything to do so I was like lets all just go watch a movie or something so that everyone was together and shit, well that turned out as me carrying drunk girls back and forth between the bathroom cause they felt sick even though in the end, neither of them threw up. But at one point I don’t know exactly when the one chick that I had been talking with for a really long time said that she kinda had a thing for me, and like any drunk guy would reply I was like yah you know I kinda like you too. I said that even after I had given them that whole thing about that girl I’ve been bloging about for the past few months. that was screwed up. things got worse later, I’m still not sure how it really started cause I don’t remember everything but that one girl who was kind being left out and I started to make out with her but all of a sudden I was like this is all wrong isn’t it? so I just got up and walked away. Looking back on that night I noticed how much I was playing those 2 girls, and I feel like such an asshole because of it. and on top of that i still have a lot of feelings for that girl I’ve been bloging about all this time. That night was just screwed up I wish I didn’t remember as much as I did but what you going to do? Shit happens and you just got to keep moving. I already told the girl I have been bloging about that I started to make with the one chick and she says she doesn’t mind but I think she kinda does. I don’t really know how I would explain the rest of the shit to her and even if I should but what ever. I keep thinking about this one think though, she was the one who said she didn’t want to give it another shot and would rather stay friends for the moment so its kinda like how long should I wait on her or should I just completely move on?
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Whats on the Internet can be Found
DATE: 11/23/2006 14:19:59 / MOOD: dont know
Yah well that phrase becomes ever more true for me at least. So that girl I wrote a few massive blogs about well I had let her read one of my blogs before but I figured that wouldn’t be able to find them again. Well it ends up she found the one that I wrote after we said we were just friends. We hadn’t really talked much after we just said we were friends. Writing about it now, it seems like it wasn’t that long ago but in reality quite a bit of time went by before we started really talking again other than the occasional hi. Things kinda changed by chance on Halloween. I, being so cool, dressed up as Justin Timberlake. Nice shoes, a hat, and every thing. I was asked by a bunch of girls to dress like that every day but now we are getting off topic. Anyways so they say the best things happen by coincidence. So to get home I and a bunch of people take the public buss cause it’s a lot easier way to get home. So anyways a water pipe had broken under this road so the buss couldn’t get by so it was rerouted to a near by train station. So she and I both head the same way we were going to take the train one stop and the tram from there. Well she, just being her self, was like “lets walk” like 2mins before the train came so I was like sure why not I would only be doing homework when I got home so who cares if it takes longer, besides I would spend time with her so it didn’t matter. So she was saying that she really missed talking to me which at first kinda surprised me because through the word of mouth people had told me the she didn’t feel anything for me anymore which wasn’t surprising either. But I had to agree cause I had missed just talking to her as well. But who knows what was going on in Zürich but when we got to our tram stop we noticed that there were 2 trams just up the street just stopped there with on one in them. So we walked on and saw that someone riding a motor scooter had been hit by a car blocking the trams. So I walked up with her to the last tram stop on this line where her bus stops. Nothing really happened but it was just fun. Its that kind of stuff that I really like doing with her just talking and so on but what ever I don’t think I am one to be labeled as normal. I don’t know if that really changed any thing but heck it’s a good memory none the less. So my grades had been shit for the last quarter so my parents grounded me but there was this party thing that one of my friends was doing down by the lake. I didn’t really want to go because I knew that it was going to be freezing down by the lake but I found out that she was going to go and my friends were really pestering me about not going so I sold my soul to the devil. So I made this deal with my parents that I would only go out every other weekend or twice a month. I know I talked about it but like I had mentioned before I went to this party by the lake basically to see her but didn’t really get to talk to her. But after the rugby tournament we had a long weekend and so on Thursday night I went out with her and a friend of mine who is in a way closer to a brother than a friend to her. So we went to a shisha bar 2 pipes and some absolute on the rocks with live music. It was just really relaxed and a great way to end a week. But we were just talking and laughing smoking some really good shisha. They were writing messages to each other about me but it didn’t really bother me. But at one point this guy came in selling roses and couldn’t pass up this opportunity so I got her a rose. When I first asked her if she wanted one she was really like no, no its ok but I got her one anyways. She was really embarrassed and couldn’t stop smiling, which didn’t bother me cause her smile just makes me melt inside. We stayed for a bit longer but soon started our ways home. The friend caught his train and it kinda turned just into her any my evening. Its kinda nice where I live cause I have a few different ways I can get home at night, she usually takes the train so I decided to take the train with her. When we were standing on the platform waiting for the tram arms around each other she kissed me. Nothing major just a little kiss on the lips. I’m still not quite sure what it was but something hit me at that moment. Maybe it just that I defiantly knew that there was still something there between us but what ever. We didn’t really talk much or I don’t know what we talked about, but we really just sat there with my arms around her and she was resting her head on me. Just before I got off the train I asked her where things should go from here, and it’s the same question I keep asking my self, where should things go with her. My walk home was an interesting conversation in my head cause I was like well shes the only thing you’ve been able to think about lately so there shouldn’t be a question about it. But on the other side I was like shouldn’t you be moving on already, look what has already happened you keep having these ups and downs. Well no side really won but the next day I was a real basket case I could not doing anything other than play xbox to keep from thinking about her but then in-between matches my thoughts would instantly wander back to her and I couldn’t concentrate at all. That friend I talked about came over for dinner and a friend of my bro were over so that at least gave me some time to just forget about life and have some fun. But the next day was far worse, I even did chores to try to think about something else. Your brain can only take asking its self so many questions before it is just too tired. Well she SMSed me later in the day and so I decided to call her. I was being really weird on the phone but one question had been kinda driving me nuts which was did reading my blogs change her mind about me in some way. I know its kinda weird but she was like no I have really felt this way about you since we first were together. This really meant a lot to me when she said that. Well I called back later and finally decided to ask her back out. She had said that she really felt bad about how she had played with me in a way and that she really didn’t want to screw this up again. Well I said that she should just think it over. Well she SMSed me on Monday and said she would prefer to just stay friends since she doesn’t want to screw that up if our relationship doesn’t work out. We were going to really talk about it but one of her best friends had just found out that her boyfriend cheated on her so she really need someone to talk to so I was like sure no problem I don’t mind we can talk later. Well that was 3 days ago and we still haven’t talked, I been really out of it with school work and my own thoughts so I haven’t really found a good time to talk to her. But I was just thinking that if we both want to give it another shot than why not cause well probably just be kicking our selves later if we don’t. I don’t know I hate my mind or my thoughts but either way I just hope I talk to her before she reads this blog.
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Rugby SGIS 2006
DATE: 11/17/2006 09:40:45 / MOOD: happy
Well SGIS rugby 2006. 2 groups of 5 teams face off to be granted the best high school rugby team in Switzerland. Housed at the campus of Le Rosay, outside of Geneva, one of the most expensive schools in Switzerland (can you say 130,000chf a year). Well last year’s team, which was made up of mostly seniors, which made up most of our forwards, won last year with out losing a single game the entire season. Ok so a hell of a lot to live up to. This year most of our forwards are 10th graders with not much experience. Our backs are good but need to stop smoking. But in general in terms of body weight we have a really small team. Ok so we have been playing ok and won a small tournament earlier in the season but we weren’t really sure how well we would do. We know that we all would give it all but we didn’t know how far that would bring us. So on Saturday we had 2 games and than 2 more on Sunday for the prelims and then a possible 2 more if we got into the finals. But don’t let me get ahead of my self. So we drove down to Geneva on Friday after school. Last years team had a few people kicked from the team for how crazy they partied during one of the trips. So anyways we were all thinking of just keeping things calmer and under control this year cause it could end up getting Rugby banned from school sports. Well after a shity dinner there wasn’t much to do so we went on a great search for alcohol of any kind. Well that proved unsuccessful. It was like we were in Assholeville or something (we were in the French part of Switzerland) the gas stations didn’t even sell anything. So we headed back to the youth hostel and found out that everyone was down by the lake. By the lake there was this little bar that we bought out. We drank almost all their caned beer a bottle of tequila, a bottle and a half of vodka, some bailies and some other shit that was fricking hard core. I didn’t get really tipsy but it was a good time with the team. Some people went out clubbing after and weren’t back till 4 something but hay they paid the price. The games the next day were good, our first game was 37-0 for us and the second some where around 18-0 to us. I only ended up playing around 10 mins or so cause I got put in at the end of the one match and then pulled my hamstring in the second. We didn’t do much that night cause we were all tired. We went in to town for dinner but didn’t stay long. When we got back we just sat and talked and listened to music. Some people got hella high and then my friend got high off his pain meds for his busted shoulder which was really funny. The second day we had 2 games defiantly and up to 2 more if we made it past the prelims. I started during the first game that day and was going fine until I tackled this guy in a wired way and made that pulled hamstring one heck of a lot worse and went out just before halftime. We still won that game but we took our first try against us that match 15-5. I was off for the next game which we also won by 2 or 3 tries. This put us at the top of tournament in terms of points. So we had to play the second team from the second bracket. I decided to play again and I wasn’t doing too bad, I couldn’t run as fast but my leg seemed ok. Than I get this great break down the wing and the only one guy to stop me. Well the French fuck doesn’t even try to tackle me properly but just high tackles me right in front of the ref. We did at least get the penalty and we shortly after we scored a try but after that I couldn’t chase the kicks so I went off. We won this game something like 15-0 or something. The final though wasn’t even funny. We had to play JLB who’s pack was easily twice the size as ours. Also this is a high school tournament yet 3 of their players had kids and the one guy, their captain, had a 3 year old who was watching the game. We knew that things were going to be tough so we went out and gave it all. We won by just a conversion with the final score 7-5. I wish I had played the final but still we had won. That now gave us our second year as SGIS champions. I should have pics up at some point but for now you can check out this one from earlier in the season. http://pbspace.com/Nebulous/pic/4702/
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hay what do you know, more about my life
DATE: 11/09/2006 12:50:08 / MOOD: dont know
I know this one is a bit late but I had to really think about how to write it. Yah so break, I told you all about sugar and everything and how she was gone for the entire week of break. A well if anyone was thinking of some chick-flick style reunion of some sorts you would have been very disappointed. Instead it was more like the song The Ex by Billy Talent, “Well I looked at her face and I knew she had changed”. None of that “ I really missed you” stuff or anything just kinda “hay hows it going here is the stuff you asked for when I was in the US” basically from that moment I knew that pretty much anything between us was gone. Its one of those things that I want to ignore but I know is there and not leaving. So yah a week goes by I only really get to talk to her once, and I hadn’t a care in the world. But of course I still knew that things weren’t going to go any further than this. Just friends. Things ended with a simple non-emotional “we’re just friends right?” “Yah, that’s the way things seem to have turned out”. I saw it coming a mile away and I didn’t really mind cause I could see it wasn’t really working or heading in the intended direction. So why should you kid your self? And my problem it that I just think about stuff like this way to fucking much, and I really hate it. I keep having almost Oneside Red moments from the song “breaking the silence” “This day is getting late and I’m too drunk to stay awake so I slip into my sleep. As I dream away I think about the other day you called me, you called me. At half past 9 I snap awake and clear my mind I won’t let you fade away.” Ok it’s not exactly like that but put it this way I truly don’t understand why it is effecting me like this. For like a week or so maybe longer I thought I was over her. But now my thoughts keep wandering back to her at the weirdest and most unwanted times. It’s the weirdest shit because you know it over, your ok with that, but yet you still think and it just drives me nuts. What ever, I don’t know why I’m obsessing over this girl, I just have issues. And its pretty sad when you think about it, its just one lousy relationship that couldn’t be revived. But for some reason it meant so much more to me but I still don’t really know why. Anyway I mine as well tell you about other shit in my life. My grades are pretty crap this quarter so my parents are ready to string me up from the ceiling. I was grounded for a few weeks but I still got to go to the Taste of Chaos concert which I have to say was fucking amazing. Saosin, Underoath, Taking Back Sunday, Anti-Flag, and some others were all there and it was just amazing and the mash was crazy and then got really crazy once Anti-Flag started, especially during Die for Your Government. The concert was from 3 in the afternoon to 11 that night I was so tired after that but would have gotten up and done the whole thing again if I could have. So now I can only go out every other weekend which could be worse but at least my wallet is happy about it. Also I have to spend a min of 3 hours on my homework a day. What the fuck is that no one is going to do that for more than a week and stay sane. But what ever. But the worst part is yet to come so it took me a while to negotiate being able to go out at all and it finally paid off. So I go to this party shisha a ton of boozes sitting down by the lake freezing out asses off but great fun anyway. There were 8 of us, she was there of course, listening to music taking shots drinking some beers, just having a good time other than the fact that it was about 0°c out and we didn’t have a fire or anything going. But yah nothing really happened it was just good fun. So I bring my shot glasses, which my parents don’t know I have in a bag with some other stuff. On the way home I stash my bag in the bushes in front of my house but failed to notice that the laundry room window could see the bag perfectly. So my mom finds the bag the next morning and in the process smashes one of the glasses and is really fricking pissed. Well now she’s like who were you out with how can I trust them how can I trust you give me names. I simply replied how can I trust that you won't call peoples parents once you have names. She’s like well maybe I need to so I just said than I not saying a thing well she quieted up after that. But my dad when he was driving me to my rugby game, he was pissed also. He was like you were lying through your teeth when we asked what you were doing. Also he was like who were you with I once again was like I’m not saying any names. but at least he seemed to understand more than my mom so he was like ok fine so you were out with the guys. Why did you have hard liquor you have to be 18, some how you obtained it illegally. As a mater of fact we did use a fake id to get the stuff but like hell am I telling him that. At first my dad thought that some one had stole it from their parent’s liquor locker. I was just like well 12th graders are 18 and well they can buy legally and who said I don’t have friends in other grades? So he asked why I was like its just something else to do and he kinda just left it so I don’t know what is going to happen. The rugby games were real deciding matches cause we have a huge tournament coming up and we got to play 2 of the teams that will be there. The JV team played a very strong and experienced team compared to them so it stared quite unfair but we added in some varsity players into the backs to give us some strength which helped a lot. I played the first 20mins of the JV and took a really hard tackle right next to the side lines. When I got up I almost couldn’t see strait but I kept playing. So at the one time out I was subbed out. Originally I had been told that I was only playing the JV match (because of the lack of experience and strength in the varsity team I have been switching between the two even though this is my first season) but I was put on to the starting team for the varsity match. Ok that’s cool and also my parents did finally show up which was nice since my dad hadn’t seen me play and even if he is pissed at me it meant a lot to me having me see me play. Anyways so I play the first like 10mins or so and was out for like 5 when I’m back in and play the entire 55mins left. I wasn’t getting low enough on my tackles which I need to work on but never the less some of those guys are going to be hurting. One of my best friends, (the guy who talked me into joining the team this year) who plays second row in the pack and is a dam good tackler and asset to our team, took a nasty tackle at the end of the first half and really screwed up his shoulder so he could end up being out for our tournament which could be a problem. And them this crazy South African who’s one of our best players crash balled it through these 2 huge guys who both caught his cleats in there heads and were bleeding hardcore so they had to be sent off. And then in the final 10mins or so I score the second try for our team bringing us up to 10 – 0. my first try official try of the season. We ended up having to play some hardcore defence on our own try line but were able to pull it off with out them scoring. There is always room for improvement but it was a really good game. So yah that was a bit of a confidence booster, so we’ll see how the tourney goes. i tend to ed with some depressing note about life and i wouildnt want to disappoint but nothing seems to be coming to me. so take it how you want but this is where you are so get used to it
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Who Reads This Shit??? part 2
DATE: 10/16/2006 05:12:48 / MOOD: Other
So yah here comes more if you can stomach it. ( I really don’t get why people read theses but I am still kind of intrigued as to your comments) So yah when I got back from London which was in the evening I went strait into town for a few drinks. Holy shit was I tired. But that’s not most of it. So yah we are sitting out side of sugar lounge. Its this place that’s half club, half bar none of us felt like dancing or getting past the bouncers so we were just sitting out side. But some of my friends come out and are telling me that that girl is pretty messed up, I was like well how bad is it really. They were like she’s ok but its more that she is getting pretty friendly with this guy. (just to say this guy can be a real asshole, also he crossed lines that just shouldn’t be crossed. But whats weirder is that even though every one knows this so many girls fall for him, don’t ask me) but anyways, on one side for me I was like what is she doing but also on the other its like well she is drunk, and than also I was like well its not like we are going out or anything so let her do her thing. Well one of her good friends was able to talk her into leaving before anything happened. But it was still kind of a weird night because I was so tired from the matches and now all of this. She did come over and say hi when she left but she doesn’t remember seeing me, which always makes you feel good. but heck what can you do she had some drinks. So the week after was ok, at more than one point she tried to tell me what had happened that night. I had herd some stuff but none of it was really anything so I didn’t really see what was so bad about it. Sure it kind of annoyed me but heck we weren’t going out so what are you going to do? So yah the next weekend I was able to get into town so I meet up with her and we went down to the lake, just us for about 4 hours. I’m a bit of a romanticist my self so I didn’t think it was that bad. but she kept asking if she was boring me. Well what do you think would happen? Of course I kissed her, a good kiss that you just know means something. when we were walking back to the train we ended up running into that guy I was telling you about. He seemed ok but there was still a kind of surprise on his face. That went ok but what was more funny was that on Monday he told her that he was really hurt see us together again and she just told him that she doesn’t really care about how he feels. What was annoying was that someone started this thing that I slept with her in the park that night, ok its not true and everyone who knows me and her know that we aren’t that kind of people but what was worse was that it was supposedly started by one of her and my good friends so she was really pissed about it. I can take rumours and stuff but its still annoying coming from a good friend. It sucked because over the fall break she was in Florida. She left early and gets back today and school starts tomorrow so I didn’t get to see her at all but we smsed each other a lot. It was funny because she ended up smsing me at 5am the one day and it woke me up. it was from her so I really didn’t mind at all cause I wasn’t doing anything that day so I could sleep all I wanted and anything from her just brightens my day. But even still she wrote me like a 2 page sms saying she was so sorry for waking me up but what ever I didn’t really mind. So on Saturday every one went to sugar lounge and it was just our school and some girls from this other one. I spent way too much money but it was worth it even if she wasn’t there. If you ever get the chance have a “black drift” that drink is the shit. They put like 4 shots in a wine glass what the shots are of I am not sure but they have a VERY high alcohol content. Anyways they set it on fire and then the bar tender puts his palm on the glass so that it gets sucked to his hand than with out griping the glass he mixes it. Than he gives you the drink and you have to drink everything in one go, its quite hot when you drink it excluding the major amount of alcohol. Than when the glass is empty he sets it on fire again and than seals the glass with his hand again but this time he waits a sec and than he puts the glass in our face and you have to breath in everything after he takes his hand off the glass. NOW THAT WILL SCCREW YOU UP. but fricking awesome none the less. All the girls tried to get me to dance which I just can’t do even if I am drunk but hay they all said I was cute out there but what ever. It was good fun and I saw some people from the other school that I hadn’t in a while. I did finally play some paintball but it was gay. You have to see here in Switzerland it is so extremely expensive say 100$ for a case and than field fees. There for not many people have there own gear and if they do than they are like 20 something smoke like a chimney and have the latest and greatest gear. So get people with there own gear to come and play they have set days each month for people with there own gear to play. Well I was checking the site for the next day and I saw a special event, a night game. I’m not much into scenario and req ball but I was board so I called to see if people with there own gear could go the guy was like yah we need more players. So I go and there is only one other guy with his own gear who sucks balls cant even snap left properly but still has a 2000$+ set up. Than there is like 50 n00bs so I am like wow what a waste. The refing was terrible I was yelling at people to keep there masks on more than the refs. And of course there had to be a bunch of ghetto/ yugo guys there who wouldn’t go out so I kept getting yelled at for lighting people up. so yah it was gay as hell but what ever. So yah break is pretty much over and my days of HALO2 and way too much caffeine are over but it was fun while it lasted. i still dont know what is going to happen with this girl but i guess ill just have to see what life is going to do. And now on to the droning days of the IB and too much work.
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Who Reads This Shit??? part 1
DATE: 10/15/2006 14:33:07 / MOOD: Other
well a lot of shit has happened from the last time i wrote a blog not that it really matters cause no one reads these but what the hell ill let you in on my life anyways. Ill spill out my heart and soul for your intertainment. so yah school started, fine, the IB is hard but o well i chose it. so yah that girl i mentioned in a previous blog, she and i went out for about 2 weeks but ended really strangely without warning or real reason. but hay if one person isn’t happy with the relationship why should it continue? so i respected what she said even though i didn’t get why and i was still really into her. so yah we had school trips and i went to Berlin which was fricking sweet other than the fact that it was a total sausage fest, 30 guys and 9 girls and only like 2 of them were hot. ok other than that it was really chill. we weren’t aloud to drink on the trip but who ever listens to rules on trips? so yah we spent an entire day buying drinks and getting mixers and other stuff. We then turned our room into a lounge by taking stuff from all around the hotel. so yah when about 1:30-2am rolled around we cracked out the drinks and didn’t stop for a very long time. put it this way campari and orange is a kick ass drink and drinking games really don’t matter after you cant feel anything you just drink anyways. ok so other than passing out at 5am on the floor with my head in a trash can it was a good trip. but still she was all i really though about during the trip and i had some really emo days even though I thought I was over her. so yah once I got back to Switzerland i had a week and then I went to London for a rugby game against ASL. Well as for being the first real match of the season, and the fact that we lost all our big players with any experience, and that ASL has won ISSTs for the past 3 years, we played really well even though we lost but we were also a major underdog. So yah we almost got caught with weed by the cops ill just say we were really fricking lucky. Ok lest go back, so the week after Berlin, which was really interesting. I went to this party with a bunch of swiss people and I was the only one who didn’t really know anyone there. But this one girl had done an exchange program in Australia so she spoke English really well. So yah we talked all night and it was really nice just to sit and talk. But I knew there was no way I could start a relationship with her but cause of how much I still felt for that girl. But some how we got on the topic of girlfriends/boyfriends and she really encouraged me to talk to her. Well I really thought about what I would ask or tell her if I got the chance. And well I SMSed the swiss girl a few times and she was still telling me to go talk with her. Well I got the chance, it was just her and me and I did what any would do, I said nothing. A nice 10min long tram ride could have told her every thing. It wasn’t really awkward but still you could feel something there, good and possibly bad. Well I ended up chatting with her on msn and she asked me if I was over our relationship. I started to say yes I was but I was like what the hell if I can’t tell her what I really feel now than how did we ever have a relationship. So yah, I told her that I still felt a lot for her and that it is going to take me some time to get over you, but because a relation ship takes 2 so since she wanted to end it ill respect that. She than tells me that she isn’t over me and doesn’t really know why she wanted to end it. Well we talked on the phone after that for about 2 hours. We also talked for a while the next day and really talked about us. One of the reasons for her wanting to end it, I think, was because she thought that I didn’t take our relationship as seriously as she did but I thought the exact opposite. We decided that we will see where things go but nothing official. to me this was really good cause you really dont know how much you care for some one until they are gone. read on to part 2 if you really find this that interesting Part 2
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been some time
DATE: 08/06/2006 15:06:39 / MOOD: Other
any ways well school starts on the 15th for me which sucks becasue this is the shortest summer my school has ever had but we will be having a longer winter break to make up for it, but i still think that my school is run by assholes (who dosent?). the weather hear went from 42c to 16c is 3 days and has now rained for a 4days after not having any rain for over a month. i was going to got play some paintball but the fields are so wet that no one is playing. good stuff is that i am finnaly build a new computer the thing is going to kick ass. aslo i have a potenal buyer for my ham radio which means i might be buy ing a new paitball gear w00t.
sadly enought life drifts on with out blinking or stoping to smell the flowers, it twists and bends, dissapates and engulfs wispy and calm like clouds yet hanging and drying like smoke, what life will bring next is hinted and hidden, are we dead or just waking up?
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